"This meeting will only take 5 minutes and...
meetingboy: One of those claims is laughably outrageous, and the other is a unicorn.
I hope virus writers never figure out that “CUPCAKES IN THE LARGE CONFERENCE...– (via meetingboy)
“You can’t change the constitution - it’s un-American! Even those times when it had to be amended…” I wish the people who mindlessly chant “right to bear arms” would read a slightly older piece of American literature where the very same authors said that all Americans are guaranteed “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” I’m...
i met a crying poor person once.– mitt romney (via twoxhauntedxscreams) She said she was on food stamps and I said we need to fix that by getting rid of food stamps and for some reason she kept crying. Poor people are so irrational. (via mswyrr)
Exhausted, Ma-Ti slumps over on the couch. He grabs a plastic bag of Bliss from the end table and tokes up. As he slams it shut, a photo of Suchi falls over and startles Gi. She jumps up and looks at Ma-Ti, covered in blood. “Ma-Ti! What happened?!” Ma-Ti looks at the four rings on his hand. “I remember. The twenty-first night of September.”
American politicians are using over $136 million dollars of taxpayer money to announce which candidate will fix the economy. Congress is on their 13th week of vacation this year with universal healthcare.
Today, our libraries, the descendants of those mud tablets, can be regarded as...– David Attenborough, Life on Earth (via effleurer)
Knowledge-Based Education – We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking...– Official Texas GOP Platform
Is it weird if a coworker sits down in an adjacent bathroom stall and whispers, “Mmm, smells like fear,” every time you make a poopie?
Do you know that if a man masturbates twice a week, it reduces his chance of...– Sean Lock
What would a Friends 9/11 episode have been like? Or Seinfeld?
Global news: “North Korean missile test fails, crashes into ocean.” North Korean news: “Glorious leader successfully bombs Atlantis.”
Public school history class: Stop using a text book from 10 years ago. Public school science class: Use this text book from 2000 years ago.